Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
