Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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