the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I have post one night stand depression
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