Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
