3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
