You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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