Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
