he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
