make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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