wake up i wanna do it froggy style
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Dick very happy bro
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
