I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Everything about him screamed your future.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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