May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
