Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
