We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
