It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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