i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
