Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize