u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
