Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize