Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Bring me that man meat
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
