I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
