I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
