you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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