the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
