your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
