So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
