Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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