i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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