i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
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