We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
