WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
When are your genitals available?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
