The brown eye won't let me do that either.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
