where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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