It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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