he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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