i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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