hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
