I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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