this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
