My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
