my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
