Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
cat food counts as protein by the way
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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