at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
