I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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