I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
