I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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