is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
