He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
