her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
