I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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