help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
