I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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