I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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