Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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