y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
