News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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