And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
