I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
