he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
