NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Barsexuality is the new black.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
