dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
