Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
