i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
