What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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