your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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