you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Randomize
